The Forest Warden

I have been working out at the local forest since my gym closed as a measure to conform to the COVID-19 safety regulations. The forest is beautiful with a challenging running trail and I love the fresh air.
I am a creature of habit and one of my core ones is to park at the same spot anytime I visit. Today, I drive in and park at my favorite spot. As I get ready to get out of the car, I see the forest warden approaching. He then proceeds to ask me to move to another parking spot. I ask why and he responds that for today he wants us to park at a particular spot.

Now, this is where the story begins……

I have rediscovered my love for the outdoors!


I am really tempted to start arguing with the warden… I mean, why he has waited for me to get out of my car to share this information. He should have guided me as I drove in as he was standing right there! I am livid!!! I glance at the area I am being directed to park and it has trees that are shedding lots of leaves and dropping acorns. All I can think about is how my car will look like when I get back from my run.

It is very cold this early morning- 6.45am to be precise. I decide not to get into an altercation because I do not want to mess up my mood for the rest of my day. I get back into the car and move it.
As I make my way to the entrance of the forest the warden approaches me and starts to explain why he made me move my car. Apparently the day before he noticed some strangers walking around the car park suspiciously peeping into cars and trying to open the doors. He made me move my car so that it can be in an area where he can watch over it! Wow….that took me a back!

I had control over how to react over that situation. It was my decisive moment. The old me would have taken the altercation route and would have probably refused to move the car. The new me, who is learning to take control of what I can, chooses to control how the rest of my day would go and moved the car- albeit having an internal battle with myself.

I am in direct control of my thoughts, words and how I treat my environment. This COVID-19 season has taught me to focus on what I can control and let go of what I cannot. Many of us spend a lot of time worrying about things that you have no control over like locusts, Narrow Bee fly, stock market or what is happening in the news. This makes us feel helpless, fearful and anxious.
Turn this around and focus on what is within your control. Be present in the moment. If you start spending your time, energy and effort working on the things directly inside of your circle of influence and control you can redirect your energy and make a positive difference, no matter how small.

My hidden gem- Aboretum Forest

James Clear, in his great book, Atomic Habits, talks about the “decisive moment” concept:

“Every day, there are a handful of moments that deliver an outsized impact”.

These moments or “little choices”, are the decisions that will shape our future selves. It is the moment I decide between starting an altercation or just moving my car as asked. Decisive moments can shape our habits and therefore our outcomes.

I had a hearty conversation with the warden after I finished my run and my day turned out great. The control I took earned me a new acquaintance.

What do you focus your energy on?

Take control of your fears

Copy of Your Wellness is Precious

How are you spending your days? Are you watching too much news?
Quarantine and Chilling the whole day and eating all your stash?

It is ok to be worried and to indulge once in a while…. A lot is still uncertain.
One thing is for sure, this too shall pass. Do not get stuck in the moment worrying and losing control. There is life after this difficult wave.

Create your own reality now as there are many things you can CONTROL.

Now is the chance you have to come out of this stronger, healthier and feeling good about yourself. It is time to control your fears and have a support system that provides accountability.

Sign up for Your Wellness is Precious below.

 

Slave to the Scale

Saturday Vibes (4)

Every day after I take a shower in the morning, my next action is like clock work, I step on the scale.

There, I said it, I am a slave to the scale.

The scale determines how my day will go. Great day if the scale tips downwards and crappy day if the scale tips in the opposite direction.

It is an obsession. The scale keeps me sane and motivated.

I know that when I have had a bad eating day, the scale will tell me off by going upwards. The worst feeling I get is when I have worked out so hard, eaten well and when I step on this sanity board of mine, it just looks at me, no movement.

It shows me the same number from a week ago. I step down and restart it and step on it again only to get the same stare.

Aaaaaarghhhh!

I usually lose it and go binge on something  unhealthy.

Now I know better!

I’m learning to celebrate my NSVs- non scale victories. That dress fits better, compliments I’m getting down the office corridors, my face looks brighter and look, I have lost another inch on my waist.

My scale is here to stay as it keeps me in check, but it should not be a source of depression.

One more kilo to reach my desired weight.

Now, where is that scale…..???

Fat Inside

Today my chronicle is a short one.

So, I am currently the smallest I have been in years, 10 years to be exact. But why do I still feel fat.  My clothes are practically falling off and I can now fit in my size 12 jeans (yes, I saved a few of those) but I am not excited.  I am not jumping over hoops with joy.

I have dropped from a size 20 to a size 12.  I have been working for this, crying for this, starving myself for this but I look at myself in the mirror and I still feel fat…..

fat-inside

Being overweight lowers your self esteem.  I got so used to seeing myself as this ugly, shapeless blob that it may take time for me to accept my new found shape.  I got used to hiding my pot belly in unflattering outfits that I am now finding it very difficult to display my new found shape.  The shape I have worked so hard for. The toned thighs and almost flat stomach  I have worked so hard for.  Waking up at 5.30 am on a Saturday morning to go running and religiously walking 9 km from work to home.

I used to spend my evenings planning what to wear the next day as I needed an outfit that would hide my belly.  I now spend the same evenings trying on outfits and finding it hard to imagine that the same clothes are practically falling off.  I seek affirmation from all to really get the message home that I am no longer carrying an extra 32 kilograms.

I will get used to this new bod.  I will celebrate it.  I will finally be over the burden of carrying extra weight, both physically and emotionally.

Till then, I have 4 more kilograms to lose.  I gave myself a stretch target of losing an extra 5 kilograms to lose after I met my original target.

My current fear is, will I permanently be on weight loss mode….

The Itch

I picked myself up from my pity party and decided to take action. First stop, the gym.

cartoon-girl-lifting-weights

I walk into the gym confident that I am finally dealing with my excess weight once and for all.  One of the instructors later confessed to me that she thought I was pregnant. I seemed to be eliciting that reaction a lot.  Annoying….Nkt!  Anyway, I got into the rhythm of the gym after getting over “The Itch”.

Let me talk a little bit about the itch. This is a tear jerking condition where I itch uncontrollably on my legs and thighs when I start exercising and I have not been physically active over a long period of time and the feeling is worse when the weather is cold. Winter should never find me walking on any street in Iceland as I will cry like a baby due to this weird condition. I thought I was the only one who suffered from this strange attack until I started talking about it and found out that we are many out there. Horrible!

Back to the gym. I became obsessed with it, visiting five to six times a week. I was a gym girl.  My favorite activity was aerobics especially the step. If I didn’t go to the gym, the instructors would call me to find out if I was unwell. Weight training was also part of my regime.

Did the gym work? I toned, lost some weight, dropped from a size 20 to 16. I believe I would achieved more if I changed my diet. My dedication should have yielded more. I was fit but still not happy with my size. I needed to be size 12 again.

Lesson 1: 

img_8608

Learning points:

According to UPMC Sports Medicine, staying sedentary too long also causes runner’s itch.

If you have had a long layover between workouts sometimes the capillaries and arteries expand, causing a sensation that your brain reads as itchiness. If you can work through the discomfort, the itching should get better as you build up stamina. Some people who suffer intense itching oil themselves with petroleum jelly before working out.

How the journey started

pregnancy-photo-blog-1

This is me…. heavily pregnant.  Maybe 8 months.  It is actually the only photo I have of me pregnant- 101 kg.  I more or less retained this size after giving birth.  I remember having a complication 10 days after giving birth and I had to go to hospital.  On arrival, the nurse who was attending to me asked me if I had come to give birth.  Really??? I had a 10 day old son.

I went back to work after 4 months and I could not fit in any of my clothes. I was a social, party animal before getting pregnant but I was relegated to staying home or going to work as none of my size 12 clothes could fit me anymore.

I remember one evening we were raving to go out. I showered and started getting ready but nothing could fit, absolutely nothing.  My husband came to check on me to see if I was ready and found me in a flood of tears. I had to do something…..

So I first gave out all my size 12 clothes and my shoes (oh, did I mention that I went up two shoe sizes after giving birth).  My lucky sister benefited from this donation.  I then bought size 18 and 20 clothes that could fit me and decided to do something.  My gym story starts here…..